According to today's New York Times, some Florida Jews are hesitant about Barack Obama. "Some" non-Jews are also, presumably, divided. It's the most blogged-about article of the day, and reading it, I had a strong feeling of déjà vu. This, and every other political article this year, suggests how easy it might be to be a political reporter--if you're willing to accept any ethnic/class/gender/race divisions as the most important information for citizens to know. Don't believe me? Here's a fun mad lib:

Headline: _____[Jews/Blacks/Whites/NonJews/Hispanics/Elderly/Women/Working Class]]Hesistant about _________[Obama/Clinton]; Democrats Fear _____[Adjective] Primary Battle will Splinter Party

Some _______[synonym for top] Democratic strategists worry that _____[ethnic group] will not support _____ [Obama/Clinton]. This much-sought after constituency has voted unevenly, with Clinton winning ___[number] percent of the ____[same ethnic group] vote in ____[State name] and [State name] and Obama winning ____[number] percent of the vote in [State name], after an ____[adjective] battle.

________[persons name], a _______[profession] from _______[city], sits in the coffee shop of the _____[bookstore name], and wags his ______[limb]. "Everyone here is talking about______ [Reverand Wright/ Bill Clinton/Michelle Obama/John Edwards/Name of Person in Political News]." His friend adds ____[adverb], "yes, but I'm not sure people here are ready for ______[woman President/black President]. Area democratic leaders privately agree.

Meanwhile, recent comments by supporter _______[name of soon-to-be obscure famous person] have troubled the ______ [Clinton/Obama] campaign this week. Some Democrats believe that this will _____[Halloween verb] the campaign for many weeks. "It's a major misstep," says Steve _____[last name], a top democratic consultant. Clinton supporters are calling for apology, and the Obama camp has been silent so far; many speculate that Obama will have to address the issue tomorrow.

Meanwhile McCain was campaigning in Florida.

Contests next week in ____[state names] are critical for Obama's __________[one choice only: momentum] but Hillary Clinton says she will continue to fight on, regardless of the _________[results, polls, damage to the party, tendency of the press to use the campaign to divide America into a series of ethnically-sorted groups.]

***

This reporting style would be harmless--or just distracting--if it didn't actually hurt America, as John Stewart suggests. It's easy for humans to think in tribal terms, to identify with groups, to accept clannish ethnic labels - and then rally around them. The claims are not false--or not always. But they are not good for a country that needs very badly to think about ___________[synonym for public good].

Comments (30)

1. Mad libs are awesome!

   And the results are shocking!

   http://www.votenic.com

   Posted by votenic at 05/22/2008 @ 6:02pm

2. But they are not good for a country that needs very badly to think about "the UNITED States of America and uplifting the human condition of the world" [synonym for public good].

   Posted by Metteyya at 05/22/2008 @ 7:40pm

3. No wonder journalism is a dying profession and everybody thinks they can do it, and do it better!----Posted by HAPPY3 at 05/22/2008

   THIS from an admitted Limbaugh fan!

   LOL!

   Posted by Mask at 05/22/2008 @ 8:11pm

4. that's a very funny post, prof. teachout.

   and tragically true.

   i say, screw elections.

   let 'em mudwrestle.

   wait, that's what they already do.

   Thursday, May 22, 2008 9:37:39 PM

   Posted by frosty zoom at 05/22/2008 @ 9:38pm

5. i see no "warn" business.

   hey ibbbbbbbbbbbbbbbble:

   I'M WARNING YOU!

   Thursday, May 22, 2008 10:12:59 PM

   Posted by frosty zoom at 05/22/2008 @ 10:13pm

6. oh,

   i see "warn this person" in firefox but not in safari.

   let's try opera..........

   opera, too.

   is safari not good enough for warning?

   Posted by frosty zoom at 05/22/2008 @ 10:15pm

7. Posted by frosty zoom at 05/22/2008 | ignore this person | warn this person

   hmmm...i kinda want to try it, but don't want to get anyone pissed off or in trouble with whoever controls this. i wonder if it flags folks for review...

   i should try it on HAPPY...i still want to see HAPPY13 some day...

   Posted by ibbleblibble at 05/22/2008 @ 10:41pm

8. Posted by ibbleblibble at 05/22/2008

   Oh, come on IBB....everybody knows the Satanic Cannibal vote is firmly in McCain's pocket every since he sponsored the Antichrist Anthropophageous Act of 2004!

   Posted by Mask at 05/22/2008 @ 11:04pm

9. RE: Mad Lib.

   On the virtues of serving the country:

   Well, men who did not serve still did very well on the job. Look at Bubba and you'll see why McCain might be wrong: No military experience needed, talk a lot instead.

   -------------

   McCain and Obama battle over military service By Steve Holland May 22, 08

   UNION CITY, California (Reuters) - Republican John McCain took aim at presidential rival Barack Obama's lack of military service on Thursday, drawing a rebuke from the Democratic front-runner for his "endless diatribes and schoolyard taunts."

   Posted by HelenDAO at 05/22/2008 @ 11:11pm

10. Posted by Mask at 05/22/2008 | ignore this person | warn this person

    "In March 2001 in Germany, Armin Meiwes posted an Internet ad asking for "a well built 18 to 30 year old to be slaughtered and consumed". The ad was answered by Jürgen Armando Brandes. After killing and eating Brandes, Meiwes was convicted of manslaughter and later, murder. The song "Mein Teil" by Rammstein is based on this."

    but he answered the ad...it was totally consensual!

    mccain will probably have to publically disavow mr. meiwes' endorsement too...

    Posted by ibbleblibble at 05/22/2008 @ 11:43pm

11. anthrpopyhag...

    antrohopyha...

    anthrapoopywho...

    MASK, you gotta use smaller words...

    Posted by Benchrest at 05/23/2008 @ 12:04am

12. Posted by Benchrest at 05/23/2008 | ignore this person | warn this person

    transmissible spongiform encephalopathies.

    Posted by ibbleblibble at 05/23/2008 @ 12:06am

13. what the hell did you call me?!

    Posted by Benchrest at 05/23/2008 @ 12:08am

14. Posted by ibbleblibble at 05/23/2008

    Fifteen warning clicks for you!

    click click click click click click click click click click click click click click...

    Posted by Benchrest at 05/23/2008 @ 12:19am

15. click click click...

    Posted by Benchrest at 05/23/2008

    just an a (im)modest proposal...

    Posted by ibbleblibble at 05/23/2008 @ 12:28am

16. Speaking of Mad Libs ... Conyers is gonna have the Sgt at Arms drag Rove in for his ass-whuppin under a procedure out of practice for decades (since usually the US Atty's office actually does its job) but under the powers of inherent contempt, they don't have to if the other refuses its work. Whoo-hoo, bout time we started to take this admin to task...

    Posted by leftofcenter at 05/23/2008 @ 12:30am

17. mask, you blundering dolt.

    it's spelt "anthropophagous".

    (that's my best ED JR impression)

    Posted by frosty zoom at 05/23/2008 @ 04:26am

18. from googlenews:

    'American Idol's' Davids battle, Fox wins

    Los Angeles Times - all 10,990 news articles »

    •••••••••••••

    10,990!

    Posted by frosty zoom at 05/23/2008 @ 04:50am

19. a blast from the ohio past:

    OTTAWA–Prime Minister Stephen Harper's long-time aide Ian Brodie is expected to step down within weeks in the wake of a cross-border controversy that undercut Barack Obama's bid to be U.S. president.

    Brodie, Harper's right-hand man since the Conservatives took office in February 2006, is to be replaced by Guy Giorno, who served as chief of staff to former Ontario premier Mike Harris, effective July 1, the Star confirmed last night.

    One source suggested that Brodie, who is telling people that he wants to spend more time with his family, was on his way out even without "NAFTA-gate," which made headlines on both sides of the border, embarrassed Harper and his government and possibly undercut Canada's dealings with a future president.

    Posted by frosty zoom at 05/23/2008 @ 04:54am

20. Posted by frosty zoom at 05/23/2008 | ignore this person | warn this person

    canada should join the EU...

    Posted by ibbleblibble at 05/23/2008 @ 05:56am

21. Posted by frosty zoom at 05/23/2008

    "Professor" EMILE JOHANNES DUBOIS ROLF....can bite me. In a totally non-anthropophagous manner!

    heheh

    Posted by Mask at 05/23/2008 @ 10:32am

22. (that's my best ED JR impression)

    Posted by frosty zoom at 05/23/2008 | ignore this person | warn this person

    watch it Bub.

    Posted by emile duBois at 05/23/2008 @ 10:33am

23. I mentioned TN but wasn't just "attacking" the journalists on the left......but, now that I clarified myself, you `stumbled' on a universal truth since overwhelmingly, journalists (lib arts majors) are in fact, on the left.....while both sides have baddies, the left have far more!

    Posted by HAPPY3 at 05/22/2008

    But then doesn't it also follow that the left has more good ones? So the bad ones have more of an opportunity to disappear. Where as when you are dealing with a smaller pool the bad ones have a higher opportunity to rise just because of a lack of competition.

    Posted by Cccomfo1 at 05/23/2008 @ 12:15pm

24. Posted by HAPPY3 at 05/23/2008

    I am work! I can't start HAPPY hour until after.

    Posted by Cccomfo1 at 05/23/2008 @ 8:09pm

25. The long vigils of the night.

    Near an alley, and where magical violins look like a melody of an ancient good sense, you hear the first light of a springtime and always, in all its meanings, the luminous wisdom forgets a white candle.

    Francesco Sinibaldi

    Posted by Sinibaldi at 05/25/2008 @ 10:13am

26. Posted by Sinibaldi at 05/25/2008

    Wouldn't you love to see a debate between SINIBALDI and HONESTLIBERAL...

    one citing esoteric poetry...the other limited only to quotes.

    It'd make Delany's "Dhalgren" seem like a Hardy Boys novel.

    Posted by Mask at 05/26/2008 @ 08:59am

27. yeah,

    but HL could quote FRANCESCO for the ultimate attack!

    Posted by frosty zoom at 05/26/2008 @ 9:42pm

28. Posted by frosty zoom at 05/26/2008

    I never thought of that.....LOL

    Posted by Mask at 05/27/2008 @ 08:55am

29. If the warning feature makes it to all browsers (opera, firefox, explorer), wouldn't that make it...

    wait for it...

    global warning?

    Posted by Turk33 at 05/28/2008 @ 12:07am

30. Posted by Turk33 at 05/28/2008

    Best joke award!!

    Posted by Benchrest at 05/28/2008 @ 12:54pm